Welcome to Tuesday Terrific, where we celebrate getting over the Monday bump and picking up speed for the rest of the week!
Today we’re looking at that age-old puzzle: men and women trying to figure each other out. Through a humor lens, of course, because otherwise we’d be pounding our heads against the linoleum, right?
1. Why did God make Adam first?
a) The first one was the rough draft.
b) God knew he’d never get any rest after He made Woman.
c) Men never make doctor’s appointments for themselves.
d) So Adam would have time to think of an answer to Eve’s first question.
2. In the joke world, God talks to guys a lot:
A man was walking along a California beach and was in deep prayer to the Lord.
Suddenly the sky darkened and the Lord, in a booming voice said, “I have searched your heart and determined it to be pure. Because you have been faithful to me, I will grant you one wish.”
The man said, “I’ve always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I’m deathly afraid of flying and I get very sea sick in boats. Could you build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive there whenever I want?”
The Lord laughed and said, “That’s impossible! Think of the logistics! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of the concrete and steel! Your request is very materialistic and disappointing. I could do it but it’s hard for me to justify. Take a little more time and make another wish, one you think would honor and glorify Me.”
After much thought, the man said, “I”ve been married 4 times. My wives always said that I was insensitive to their needs. So I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel and what they’re thinking. I want to know why they cry and how to make them truly happy. That’s my wish, Lord.”
Then, after a few minutes, God said, “You want two lanes or four on that bridge?”
3. Women and men look at the world differently:
4. Here’s a great post by Jenny Hansen about deciphering “Man-Speak” (including a really funny clip): A Discussion of Man-Speak.
5. And finally, I’ve included one of my favorite clips on the subject of men and women. It’s a spoof on the classic Gone With the Wind: the Carol Burnett skit “Went with the Wind.” Enjoy!
Of course, there are so many jokes out there about men and women that we’ll have to do more of these in the future, right?
Got any favorite jokes about men/women you’d like to share? Any jokes or stereotypes that make you cringe? I’d love to hear from you!
Until next time,
Kathy
Joke sources:
http://www.alamodestuffblog.com
I loved the Carol Burnett Show! Thanks for the smiles this morning!
You bet, Georgeanna! She’s one of my faves, too!
Great stuff, Kathy. I love the color chart! So true.
Isn’t it? But I wonder about that “spindrift” color. What exactly is spindrift?
LOL. I’m more like a guy and my guy is more like a girl…wait, that sounded bad. I mean, he was raised with two sisters and a mother big into crafts, and I was raised with a brother and father playing and watching sports non-stop. The color chart – I’d be on the boys side and he on the girls. 🙂
Tiffany, except for the color chart, things are exactly the same at my house! LOL…
I know what you mean, Tiffany, even if it did sound kinda weird…LOL. Thanks for stopping by!
that’s one of my favorite Carol Burnett skits. and the color chart is too funny and so true. thanks for the laughs
You’re welcome, Louise! Keeping the curtain rod in the costume…ROFL!
Fantastic post Kathy! Love it…been chuckling all night!
One of my favs, how did God come up with the name “woman”? Well after he made Eve, he stood back and took a look at his work and said “WO MAN!!”
HEHEHEHEHE
Good one, Nat! Keep ’em coming!
Hey, Kathy!!! I LOVE Carol Burnett!! I’m pinching myself that one of my posts got included next to a mention of hers.
Nothing like some man/woman jokes to liven up the day. 🙂
Yes, Jenny, your name will be forever immortalized with Carol Burnett. A dream come true! 🙂
Hey, Kathy! Fun post. One of my favorite rerun shows that I RARELY watch because I keep focused writing, writing, writing…
Whoop! My nose grew. How did that happen?
Well, IF I watched reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond, I would remember Deborah handed me a line to use often with my husband.
“Call yourself an idiot. I’m too tired.”
Must get that on a Tee-shirt so I remember it as I write, write, write.
LOL, Gloria! Thanks for taking the time out to comment in the middle of your “write, write, write” session!