Milestones: when your first-born leaves his teen years behind


I don’t talk much about my personal life on this blog, but my public and private lives seem to be intersecting lately.  Especially today: my first mystery, Dangerous and Unseemly, has been released on Amazon – more on that later – and also today, my first child, Patrick, turns 20!

Pt 1993

I know that 21 is supposed to be the big hoopla age in the U.S., because a person can legally drink alcohol.  But to me, 20 is more significant.  Patrick has left his teens behind forever.  As a man in his 20s, he’s part of the adult world now, and this decade of his life will probably see the greatest number of dramatic changes.  In my twenties, I moved out and lived on my own, began a career, and got married.

Having one’s first-born turn 20 also means that I’ve been doing this mother-thing for two decades.  Wow, are you kidding me?  How do I wrap my mind around this?

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Well, I searched the internet for what some famous people had to say about their kids growing up.  Here are a few of my favorites:

 Grown don’t mean nothing to a mother.  A child is a child.  They get bigger, older, but grown?  What’s that suppose to mean?  In my heart it don’t mean a thing.

~Toni Morrison, Beloved, 1987

The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant — and let the air out of the tires.

~Dorothy Parker

And, in case you’re ready for them to fly the nest, there’s this bit of wisdom:

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

~Phyllis Diller


Last night, my hubby and I were reminiscing about the night/early morning he was born.  We talked about how I waited until after we had dinner to tell him that I was having contractions, because I’d gone to all the trouble of making dinner, dang it, and didn’t want to go rushing to the hospital for nothing…plus, I didn’t want to miss the latest episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation.  (I know, I’m kinda geeky that way).

I remember the endless pushing, the 3:30am delivery; getting to hold him in my arms, exhilarated and exhausted; the full head of black hair (which was gone quite quickly); his quiet gaze, looking right into my eyes, as if he were memorizing my face; his little snuffling noises; his teeny fingernails; my husband holding him in his arms and singing to him; calling my parents, who were practically bursting with pride and excitement…I treasure countless memories of that day.

So now I’ve blinked, and it’s 20 years later.  Happy birthday, Patrick!

Pt 12th


Join August McLaughlin and participating bloggers in this year’s Beauty of a Woman Blogfest.  All of them are quality writers, and last year’s blogfest was terrific!


As I mentioned above,

Dangerous and Unseemly is up for sale on Amazon as an ebook!  The other venues – Barnes and Noble, Kobo, iBooks, and as a paperback on CreateSpace – will be coming out shortly, and I’ll let you know when that happens.

cover art by Niki Smith
cover art by Niki Smith



Click here or on the cover at left for the Amazon link.  Thanks for checking it out!

What milestones stand out in your life?  I’d love to hear about them!

Until next time,


4 people like this post.

20 thoughts on “Milestones: when your first-born leaves his teen years behind”

  1. Kassandra LambKassandra Lamb

    Aww! Sweet baby to handsome young man… and it only took a few blinks of the eye to get there. Happy birthday, Patrick!

  2. Ginger CalemGinger Calem

    What a strikingly handsome son you have. My son turned 17 on Tuesday so I relate to this post and am already crying over him being a senior next year, going to college, leaving HIS teen years behind him soon. Some days I wish he’d want to be picked up and lay his head on my shoulder. At 6 ft, this would be hard. 🙂

    Congrats on your release! Thrilled for you.

  3. Jenny HansenJenny Hansen

    He’s a handsome devil! And such a good mix of you and your hubby. Congratulations on getting through the first 20 years. I can’t even fathom Baby Girl being that “old.” 🙂

    Congrats on your book launch!!! I’ve got you down for 3/14. 🙂

  4. Jennifer Jensen (@jenjensen2)Jennifer Jensen (@jenjensen2)

    It doesn’t seem like it at the time, but in hindsight, they do grow up so fast! My _youngest_ is in college, though still living at home. I cherish the time with him, but we’re also getting ready to be empty nesters again (pretty much our condition when we lived in Ireland). Kudos to you on raising a great son, especially one that will consent to have all his school pictures shared!

  5. PatriciaPatricia

    Wow you raise good-looking ones don’t you?

    It’s always been amazing to me how, when as a child you think time just drags on, but then at some poing in your life that all changes. There’s no magic turning point, you just wake up one day and realize that time is flying by.

    Congratulations on raising a good kid and doing such a good job of it that you want to keep him around.

    I downloaded the book. Sounds really good!

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt

  6. Margot KinbergMargot Kinberg

    Kathy – What a lovely post! And what a handsome young man Patrick has turned out to be! I know just what you mean about milestones too. It feels like just a moment ago that my daughter was starting Kindergarten. Now she’s almost 22. Yeesh!

  7. Renee A. Schuls-JacobsonRenee A. Schuls-Jacobson

    Mazel tov on Patrick’s b’day! And my post is set to run for August’s blog fest — like any minute! And you have to let me know about what you want to do for possible giveaway at my place in March! Now that you have details! 🙂 So excited you can be downloaded! Guess who is doing that TONIGHT! 😉

  8. Lena CorazonLena Corazon

    Happy birthday to your son, Kathy! My not-so-baby sister is turning 21 in May, and I am feeling so disoriented. I remember when she was born (I’m 5 years older), and I’m not quite sure where all that time went.

    Congrats on the book release! Can’t wait to read it!

  9. Zack KullisZack Kullis

    Congratulations on both counts, Kathy! Patrick is a good-looking kid. Like my grandfather used to tell me, the apple never falls too far from the tree.

    Sounds like you have every right to be a proud mama, and a proud author.
    Way to go!

  10. Julie GloverJulie Glover

    Congratulations on the release! Since I have a Nook, however, I’ll have to wait a little longer. *sigh*

    Love the pics of Patrick. What a handsome young man! I also enjoyed seeing the changes through the years. I have a high-school aged son, and it has amazed me how much he has changed in the last year or two. From boy to man in the blink of a mama’s eye.


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