The star of the Thanksgiving meal, the turkey, is often maligned for its stupidity. However, the people trying to cook them aren’t always the sharpest knives in the carving block, either. Think of it as a form of revenge. Fear the turkey!
There are almost as many ways to cook a turkey as there are lame jokes in Uncle Harold’s repertoire, right? Bake, broil, brine, deep-fry, spatch-cock…in other words, loads of potential for messing up the centerpiece of the meal so that dad has to run out to the 7-Eleven for a pack of hot dogs.
Since 1981, Butterball has operated a telephone helpline on Thanksgiving, with real people to talk to when all hell’s breaking loose. (Turkey-wise, that is. They can’t do anything about the heavy-metal boyfriend your daughter brought home, or the passive-aggressive brother-in-law you have to deal with every year).
The Butterball folks get some crazy questions from callers: how to clean out chainsaw oil residue after trying to cut a frozen turkey in half (nope, go get hot dogs), how long it takes to pop popcorn inside the turkey’s cavity while the bird is roasting (an old myth – and you can’t), whether a frozen turkey can be thawed with a hair dryer (no), how to get a chihuahua unstuck from inside a turkey (before it went in the oven, thankfully)…the list goes on.
And then there are the fires. According to State Farm Insurance Company, more cooking fires happen on Thanksgiving Day than any other day of the year. Most occur when folks decide it’s a good idea to submerge a 20-pound turkey in a vat of boiling oil. (If you fry your turkey, don’t send me hate mail. I’m sure there’s a safe way to do it, but I watched too many turkey-fryer disaster videos while preparing this post).
State Farm compiled cooking-fire data between 2007 and 2011 to come up with a Top 10 list of states that have had the most fires on Thanksgiving, based on number of claims.
Want to see the list? Me, too.
#10 South Carolina
#3 New York
…and the #1 state for the most turkey fires:
What do you think of this list? Any states that surprised you? Any you’d like to nominate?
So this Thanksgiving, count yourself lucky to successfully cook your bird without the help of your local fire department! But don’t forget to baste it (because it’s “All About That Baste”):
Want more Thanksgiving? Check out these posts about the holiday as it was celebrated in the 19th century:
How do you like to cook your turkey? Has the fire department ever paid you a visit on Thanksgiving? I’d love to hear from you.
Best wishes for a safe and Happy Thanksgiving,